Happiness Through Philosophy and Other Nonsense collects more than two dozen short short stories, vignettes, and flash-fiction pieces. From Hemingways last poem to the science of Worcestershire sauce to Jean-Paul Sartres ghost, Happiness Through Philosophy is profane, bawdy, satirical, and nonsensical.
About half of these pieces were previously published in various out-of-print places, mostly in the parody anthology Rubber Chickens for the Soul and a couple in The Silly Club Rag, a humor newsletter. Others have interesting backstories: the first draft of The Unfathomable and Undeserved Success of Percy K. Smith won a fiction-writing contest in the English department at my university, Happiness Through Philosophy got me a job interview with Garrison Keillor (but not the job), and A Cup of Dirty Tea won the bawdy category of a tea limerick contest. Some were written expressly for this collection, while the rest have been revised, sometimes quite substantially. I plan on publishing this in both print and e-book form. The excerpt below is the opening of the title story.
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Happiness Through Philosophy Somewhere in Minnesota, a couple sits at their dining room table. The wife notices her husband staring out the window, not eating. She puts down her silverware.
JANICE
Whats the matter, dear? Youve barely touched your tater tot bisque.
STEVE
I dont know. Its just—
JANICE
Its the cumin, isnt it? Its too spicy.
STEVE
No, no, the cumins fine. Im just not that hungry. Ive been depressed lately. The whole world has gone crazy. I dont know if anything will work out. Its all out of my control.
JANICE
(after a pause)
Its the tater tots, isnt it? Its too crunchy for bisque.
STEVE
No, no, the tater tots are fine. I just cant enjoy your nouveau Minnesota cuisine when I have this miasma of melancholy, this—
JEAN-PAUL
(with a French accent)
This malaise, this maladie, if you will?
JANICE
Oh, look, dear, the late Jean-Paul Sartre, famous French existentialist. . . .
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